How do you know it's really kosher?

So tonight I was kashering my stove and oven. It was great- fire blazing, heat arising, apartment getting hot...I could just see those wonderful shabbat meals being cooked in my very own studio kitchen.
But then I heard something. Like a pop...I walked into my kitchen to find a piece of gold wrapping on the floor from a wine bottle I hadn't yet opened.
But how did it get to the floor?
Then I saw what popped-the cork! The kitched got so hot, the wine bottle opened itself! L'chaim en solo! That is a pretty talented bottle of wine, even if the heat was affecting it.

So then the problem was apparent- what to do to salvage the wine.
Yet another moment when it pays to have a food afficiano for a brother.
I became informed that I needed to only replace the cork but it had been re-cooked, changing the chemistry of the wine. Tragedy.

But now at least I have a new hashgafa....According to the LMK Beit Din of Crunchy Chicago, a kitchen stove and oven isn't really kosher unless the wine bottles in your kitchen can make l'chaims by themselves.
....
And as I write this, wine bottle next to me, the cork pops off by itself again....
there is a new decree! The cork must pop off twice during the same evening the stove was kashered, or else it isn't a kosher kashering.

Man, my meals are going to be super spiritually pure.....:)